"just a little. bit."

"just a little. bit."

writing. 

it's the act that loosens me.

climbing and dancing and shouting, those do it too

but in a different way than this does.

i see the white. blank. page. 

it's intimidating. 

but then i make one tap of a key and it's like my fingers took a hit of something strong.

i don't know what i'm going to talk about

until i get Right. here. 

want me to talk about flowers? I'll do it.

petals fall one by one

does he love me___does he not.

i could talk about balloons, human anatomy, the freckles on my nose

Obama...ya actually, probably not. 

i'm the most liberal conservative you've ever met.

believe me on this, i'm Here. i'm there. 

punctuation and Capitalization matter. trust me. Hear. 

if writing's a passion, why don't i do it more?

i should. i Will. lately it's been hard to start. 

if the page was Purple, would it be so tough? 

maybe not (Go Frogs), the edge wouldn't be so rough.

it's amazing what the white. blank. page.   can take out of you.

Mumford said it one time, his Sons said it more.

this jarbish and flip flop make sense in my head

if not for you: I challenge - pick up a pen.

write what you think. that thought. Your mind.

put down the spirals twisting inside.

then say Holla! that's right fool, i did what you said.

Next time challenge me, cuz i've got more in my head.

Life, God, and Lil' Wayne

Life, God, and Lil' Wayne

Today I was reminded of the joy in taking life day by day and the importance of having good people around you.  I was also reminded that Lyle (my car) can apparently go 16 miles (at least!) after the gaslight goes on.  

A friend and I cruised up the mountains to Breckenridge this morning to have a jolly day of boarding in paradise.  During our drive, we were discussing how tough it can be to want to plan our lives out to a T, how do we know when we've met "the one", how do we truly rely on God and our friends and family before trying to figure it all out ourselves? We answered these questions in between singing and contemplating the inappropriate lyrics of Lil' Wayne songs.  Life, God, and Lil' Wayne....or something like that.  Let's start with the first topic: Day by Day. 

I've said it before, but this has been my theme over the past 2 years. I've moved from Texas to San Diego and back to Texas. I've moved from Texas to Colorado. I changed majors 5 times in college and I've changed jobs 6 times in the past 3 years. I'm about to leave my job at Apple and move to Wyoming for a month, where I will be living in Sinks Canyon State Park and taking a Wilderness Emergency Medical Technician (WEMT) course. After I return from my WEMT course, January 27th, I don't know where I'll be, I'll more thank likely be jobless, and I may be homeless. Now, that's the absolute worst scenario. However, I will be a certified EMT afterwards, so that's a big bonus. The point is that my life at this point has a lot of unknowns that I need to learn how to be okay with.  I've applied for the NOLS instructor course, but who knows if I'll get into that. If I do get into it, do I instruct full time and be gone a lot with no real home base? Or should I spend my time now officially getting my teaching certificate so I can teach  and then work for NOLS during the summer? If I don't get accepted, where do I go from there? Become an EMT full time? Pursue music? Find another outdoor company to work for? Get my masters? Become a snake charmer? Go back to Apple?  Travel the world? Work for a camp? Learn to knit? I mean, the options are endless! I truly feel like the world is at my finger tips. How do I plan for this? The only theory I can come up with is to take life by the horns day by day. See what doors open, and see what doors close, then make decisions from there. If anyone else has any other theories, please share. 

Topic 2: "The One" -- Everyone says you know when you've met "the one". I think I believe that. But all I'm going to say for now is that boys are confusing and us girls over think everything. That's right boys, we know we do it. In all honesty when it comes to this topic, I would love to be in a relationship. That would be marvelous as a matter of fact. I'm a very patient person, but I feel like I've waited long enough. Haha. It's strange to think about my future decisions if I do end up in a relationship any time soon. Not that I'm the type of girl that's going to give up everything for a boy, but I do think I would alter plans to help the relationship I'm in. I'm at this point where I could do anything, anywhere...so if a great man were to come into my life, who knows! The downside to working as a wilderness instructor full time is that the possibility of me being in a solid relationship goes way down. So maybe there's a way to work as an instructor part time, and still make a home base somewhere, eh? This whole topic relates to the "day by day" topic in subtle, but large, ways. Ya...that makes sense right? 

Topic 3: "Don't do life alone" -- This I have realized over and over again. One of the hardest parts about moving somewhere new is not having a friend base to rely on and feeling like you're cruising through life alone. As my friend and I were talking this morning, we both stated that we have a tendency to forget that God's there. Seems like such a simple thing to fix, but it's one of the hardest for me. The goal is to remember to turn to God for help, for reassurance, and maybe a smack in the face here and there. Going along with that is the importance of a solid friend group that you feel comfortable being vulnerable with. This may be a huge group of people, but for most I'd say it's just 2 or 3 people. Having those life conversations, keeping each other accountable, being a listening ear and an advice giver for one another is a huge thing. Life's hard alone, so it's worth the ten, sometimes painful minutes of opening yourself up to others so they can help clean, restore, and refresh you. 

Topic 4: "Lil' Wayne" -- I mean seriously, do people really think he's talented? I enjoy his music now and then...mostly because it gives me a good chuckle because of the ridiculous lyrics and I like to dance to it...but that's about it. 

Life's short, but full of hope, promise, dreams, and aspirations. One day will change the next and that day may turn your world upside down. But even doors will open upside down and unveil another possibility. 

I fit in?? weird...

Here's the scoop from Colorado...

I've been here a month now and it feels like a year...the amount that I have accomplished is insane. I really think I've slept outside about the amount I have inside since living here. I have been to Redfeather, Breckenridge, Telluride, Pikes National Forest, Vedauwoo-Wyoming, Eldora area, etc. Plus a little bit of climbing in Boulder Canyon. It really has been phenomenal.

Even though I'm living in Frederick, I hang out in Boulder most of the days and will be even more because I officially got a j.o.b.! Got a job at Apple and am really excited about it actually. It's not quite what I thought I'd be doing, but when does anything ever go as I planned? I think it's going to be a great experience, so I start training on Saturday! For a part time job, I think it's going to be just jim dandy. Plus, it'll allow me to spend more time in Boulder. The best part about Boulder is that I actually fit in...weird how that works. I'm not the only one wearing Chacos. I'm not the only one with too many bumper stickers on my car. I'm not the only one with roof racks on my car. In Texas, people used to ask me what the racks were for...here it's just a known fact. And it's actually pretty normal to walk around with climbing chalk marks on my pants. So ya, I'd say this works for me. Plus, Boulder always has awesome live music. Big bonus in my book. Probably the only reasons I wouldn't fit in is because I don't own a Subaru and I don't have weed in my glove compartment.

Don't get me wrong, I do miss things about Texas. I miss my friends, and the psycho squirrels at TCU. I miss the ridiculous memories on the nasty disease driven Trinity River. And I will sadly admit that I miss two-stepping! I'm not one to listen to country music, but I miss me some country dancin. I need to find a country bar here. Luckily the one bar I have made my "home" thus far reminds me a lot of Bull & Bush in fort worth...just bigger. It's kinda this old folky bar with darts, pool, and shuffleboard. Plus, they have hoolahoops sittin around for drunken pleasure. Always a plus.

So work starts on Saturday..trying to figure out what to do in the meantime. Any ideas??! I'm excited to start work, make some money...but i really hate the adjustment of not being able to do things when I want. That's kinda a hard transition for me (wonder why..haha). I just have to keep in mind that I need to make money to do my Volkswagen Van trip this summer! Eyes on the prize.

I've been sitting in Whole Foods for about 4 hours now, so I guess I'll go home. haha. Later gators!

So..I guess I live in Colorado now?

Hey there Friends!

I have had multiple requests to start blogging again...maybe because I move too much for people to keep up. I can see how it would be confusing. I still have people come up to me and ask I am still living in San Diego. Clearly not. 3 moves later I'm in Colorado!

Yesterday, the 24th, I hopped in my uHaul truck that was towing Lyle (my Jeep) behind it, and hit the road to Colorado at 9am. It was a bit of a rough morning because I may have gone to bed at 3am the night before...oopsy. But it sure was a fun night! Big thanks to mis amigos (you know who you are) for the great last night in Fort Worth. The drive was pretty good and I must say that I personally think I looked badass driving the massive uHaul and towing the trailer. There were a couple negatives to the drive though: 1. No CD player. (I'm kinda old school and still like those little discs of joy). 2. The AC kept cutting in and out. So I'd go through moments of sweating and then moments of cool air. I would assume it's what hot flashes probably feel like when your fifty. 3. I had to drive through Kansas. Seriously, I think the worst state I've ever driven through. There's just nothing. Absolutely nothing. Except a sign closer to the border that said, "See the worlds largest Prairie Dog!". As much as I was slightly intrigued...I kept driving past it. 4. The drive was 15 freakin hours. FIFTEEN! I made my stops quick. Really just stopped for gas and would grab food while I filled up, then hit the road again. Finally got to Denver at 11pm (12pm Texas time). As much as it was a long drive and I was pulling quite a load, it wasn't too bad. I got really bored, but luckily I had some friends calling me and keeping me company over the phone. I am currently hoarse from singing at the top of my lungs for so long. I also sang songs in funny voices to pass the time. And I learned how to drive with my left foot. I'm pretty good actually. Needless to say, I found ways to entertain myself.

You might ask yourself, ok Robin...so what the hell are you doing in Colorado?? Valid question my friend -- my answer: I don't know!! Well, I kinda do...but not really. haha. I moved in with my brother Chris, sister-in-law, and 1.5 year old niece. And am currently searching for a job in the outdoors. The fact of the matter is that Fort Worth had nothing to offer me in my career and I knew I needed to change locations to truly pursue what I want to do. So my plan as of right now: Live with brother, get part time job and save up some money, explore the glories of Colorado, camp as much as possible, then in January get my WEMT (wilderness EMT) and hopefully next spring or summer do my NOLS instructor course. That's the tentative plan. I don't want to say it's for sure because most my plans never go as planned.

So...I'm excited! I'm nervous. I'm scared. And I'm really sad to have left my best friends in Fort Worth. Had a little cry session today...not because I think I made a mistake or anything, but just because it's a big transition, there's a lot I need to do, and i really do miss my friends already. Although I feel lucky to be with family at this time in my life. We're going camping this weekend I think it's the perfect way to start off my time in Colorado.

Stay tuned! You never know what I'll have to share next....in all seriousness...I have no idea what it's going to be. haha.

Road Trip to NOLS!

Hey Folks! It's been forever since I have really blogged, so I one upped it and made a video blog! Today I drove from my brothers house in Denver to Lander, WY which is where the NOLS headquarters is. It ended up being about an 4.5 hour drive and it was absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!! Rolling hills, snow capped mountains, groups of deer, and green green green! Wyoming is a-ok in my book. Turned out that the Lander Brewfest was also going on this weekend (hooray!). So I cruised on down to that and had some quality beer by myself and people watched for about an hour. I really was wishing that my friends were with me, cuz they would have LOVED it! Anyways, here's the video i made of my trip. Enjoy!

Toms Shoes Documentary

First Snow Camping Experience

I'd Rather Be Camping

So. Much. Snow!! Fort Worth has been getting dumped on for the past week. There was snow and ice everywhere. Not to mention school was canceled Tuesday through Friday due to the frigid weather and unsafe roads that everyone drove on anyways. You may think that I had a weekend of movies, sweatpants, and hot chocolate...but no. Why stay inside when you can go camping?

We had been talking for a while about camping and had a legit weekend of camping, kayaking, and rock climbing planned out at Mineral Wells State Park. But when the weather started to get iffy on us we had to reevaluate our plans. Turns out Mineral Wells closed (we think) due to the insane weather. So Kenny (aka-Dagger) did some research to come to find that Cedar Hills State Park was, in fact, still open. We met up to discuss whether or not we should go in the 5 inches of snow we got the night before and finally came to the conclusion that snow camping would be too legit to quit...and it was indeed just that.

Kenny, Eric (Pokey), and I (also referred to as "girl" or "b-Rob") rolled into Cedar Hills State Park to find that we were the only ones insane enough to camp in tents. The only other people we saw in the mostly empty park were chillin in RV's. We found our campground and decided to hit the water and do some paddling before the sun went down. Let me tell you folks, kayaking with snow and ice on either side of you is just surreal. My hands may have been freezing, but it was so worth it. We paddled back to camp and set up our heated cabins....uh, tents...uh, ice domes. Dinner got a cookin, songs were a sung, laughter was ringing, stories were told, snow angels were made, more laughter was ringing, some drinks were drunk, high fives were fivin, and we managed to stay warm enough in the teen degrees weather. Although I'm pretty sure I was close to losing some toes.

Day two consisted of an incredible back country hike along a neato stream. I think we were all tempted to go grab a tent and set it up by the trickling water away from anything cement and man made. But we headed back to camp and went for another relaxing kayak on the lake. The three of us paddled out in the lake, the beaming sun hit us in the face, and the soft current just pushed us along. Rough life right? The rest of the night was pretty chill. The boyeez got the fire goin, Kenny worked his cooking magic on the stove, and I...actually I don't really know what I did. haha. I supervised! Had to make sure they were doing it right. Duh. ;-)

Overall, my first snow camping experience was off the heezy fo sheezy. As much as the first night was frickin freezing, I am so glad we endured it! The only bad thing about going on a weekend camping trip is that I never want to return to civilization. There's something about being outdoors that absolutely captivates me. Plus going with people who know more than I do about camping just makes me want to learn more and more. I feel like I just sit there and try and soak everything in so that I'll be able to take a new skill and apply it later. I am so not ready for school to start again tomorrow. Not ready for the repetition. Not ready for the tedious work. Not ready to read endless pages in books that I'll forget in a week. Just not ready. I'm about to crawl in bed only to wait for my alarm to go off at 7:15 so that the schedule can begin. Oh the schedule, schedule, schedule.

I'd rather be camping.

Top 10 great/bad things about ice days

Top 10 GREAT Things About Ice/Snow Days:

1. No school = legit

2. I can watch obsessive amounts of TLC (disgusting confession of mine)

3. I have time to play guitar and write new songs

4. Every girl has baked something (if not multiple things) in the past 48 hours

5. The wine in the fridge is now gone...

6. I actually have time to cook dinner

7. Banangrams. 'nough said.

8. Tea is so much better in the cold

9. Watching people slip on ice is just funny

10. Wii parties with wine and pumpkin bread (that a girl baked...duh)

Top 10 BAD Things About Ice/Snow Days:

1. Procrastination is at an all-time high

2. Homework is accumulating

3. I'm freakin STIR CRAZY. Cabin fever is through the roof

4. Bills will be higher this month due to the heater. I'm tempted to turn it of and just stay in my sleeping bag

5. Facebook takes over my life and I hate it.

6. No good stories happen (aka-nothing to blog about)

7. Online shopping (never positive)

8. iTunes shopping (the curse in my life)

9. dontknowwhattodowithmyself

10. I've resorted to taking pictures of my face on photobooth with all the funny distorted effects. When those get boring, I make funny faces by myself. That's what the ice days have come to. Photobooth. By myself. bahhhh

a sweaty, sweaty place

The gym. The stinky action-packed, meat-head, and eating disorder filled place sometimes makes me want to vomit. It's a place of wanna-be go-getters who believe one more rep will boost their ego and metabolism up one more notch. It's a place full of skinny people getting skinner. It's a place of repetition. It's a place of some people legitimately trying to give themselves a healthy life. It's a place of sweaty, sweaty people. Who decided that gyms were a good idea anyways? Yes, let's put a bunch of really heavy objects in a room and go lift them to see who is all that is man. On the flip side for the women - "I bet I can elliptical faster than you!". Oh the joys of this petty little sweat box. As much as I am definitely trying to treat the gym in a sarcastic manner and attempt to belittle everyone who is serious in here, I must admit that once upon a time I was, in fact, a gym rat.

For me, high school was all about basketball. When I wasn't shooting, I was working out and lifting weights. And when I wasn't lifting weights I was eating peanut butter. Protein. Num num. That was my life. My identity. I wanted to play college ball. Then senior year came around and I had surgery on my legs (basically because I jacked'em up practicing too hard, too much, and too often) and my whole perspective changed. I went off to college on no scholarship of any kind with my only sense of who I am being basketball. And there I was, but basketball was no where to be found. That year I naturally gained the freshmen 15...well 25 in my case and was unhappy because I didn't know who I was. College has been a battle of back and forth thoughts of who I am, changing majors 4 times, transferring schools and transferring back, etc etc. But finally, the beginning of my senior year, I can tell you 100% who I am, what I love, and what I'm about. Some people have a straight shot life. They know what they want to do and they go forth and conquer. Mine, not so much. But I wouldn't change it for the world.

As I'm sitting here in the gym writing this, I'm reminded of my journey and where it started. Sometimes I have an urge to go lift weights to remember my glory days, but then reality hits me that I could go lift for 10 minutes and I'd bulk up like Mrs. Hulk. Not worth it. So I've sworn off weights and taken other interests. But the gym reminds me of who I am, who I want to be, and who I never want to be again. I only hope now that the poor girl sweating on the elliptical figures out who she is before turning up the speed one more time.

I remember...

Wrote this in class in like 5-10 minutes. Had to be an "I remember" poem. Enjoy!


I remember scarped knees and torn jeans
I remember the way that you took care of me
I remember throwing you in the pool with my brothes
Obviously you let us do it, you were one of the cool mothers

I remember playing dot to dot with freckles on Dad's face
And the laughter that followed when he woke up in a daze
I remember vivid nightmares and scary dreams
Me crawling in your bed and sleeping inbetween

I remember the amazing chocolate chip cookies you make
Now I've got the recipe and my friends always make me bake
I remember the simple days of keds and side pony tails
I remember when Dad pretended to eat snails

Those were the days when nothing else mattered
When Santa was real and the fantasy wasn't shattered
I may be 22, but I don't think I've grown up
More scraped knees to come, wish you were in college with me to clean me up.

Shiver me timbers this is awesome

Watched this for class. It gave me shivers. This is what's up folks.

I'm back!

One of my teachers this semester has us keep a writer's notebook. I've decided that I'm going to start sharing some of things I put in it over the course of the semester. This blog is one of the quick writes I did in class the other day.

Topic: Riding my Bike

He let go! I was doing it all by myself! There I was, a little nugget of a child, long-blonde pig tails whisping out from underneath my helmet, riding my Schwinn bike around the culdesac. Well, I guess it wasn't my Schwinn bike. Everything I got was a hand me down from my two older brothers. But who cared?! I was riding that Schwinn with style while Dad cheered in the dust I left behind.

As I look back on this moment, I'm realizing that it was a major stepping stone in my life. I've always hit the ground running, no hesitation, no looking back, but rather doing things because I love them no matter the consequence. My life has always been in full throttle and I've always been someone to discover things for myself. Maybe it's because I know my families right there for me if I fall.

But no matter how busy and chaotic my life gets, I always find time for my bike. There's something nostalgic about a bike. It reminds me of scraped knees and road rash. It reminds me of culdesac parties and kick the can. It reminds me that nothing that is "important" to society in the 21st century actually matters. That money, fame, material things, or my iPhone doesn't create happiness. Rather happiness is a mental choice. A state of well-being. Riding my bike reminds me that fresh air, wind in the face, and zipping down a hill is worth 100 times more than getting an A on a test. Most of my friends stress about life and grades and blah, blah, blah. They also don't ride bikes. Or take a stroll in the park. Heck, they don't even open their blinds. I on the other hand am not a stresser. I believe there are bigger and better tings to worry about than school and money. I'd rather take advantage of the outside world than study. And I make it a priority to "play" a little bit for myself everyday. And I swear that's all a stress free life needs.

Play a little bit. Ride a bike.